2025 Birthday Reflections, (5/21/2025)

2025 Birthday Reflections

A Past Revisited, Connecting the Dots part 4

In 1984, I discovered that my date of birth differed from what I had known all my life. This revelation occurred when we received our official document from the Immigration and Naturalization Service (now referred to as United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) confirming our approved application for migration to the United States. Our petition was categorized under the family preference categories, which include unmarried sons and daughters over 21 years old of US citizens.

1984 has become a turning point of my life and my identity figuratively and consciously. I am now eligible for a green card. A green card, officially known as a Permanent Resident Card, is an identity document that shows a person has permanent residency in the United States. Does this imply a change of national consciousness, loyalty, and identity? From being Makabayan to American?

My Date of Birth situation necessitates acknowledging a transition from the Gemini Fire Monkey to the Gemini Wood Goat personality. Although I identify strongly with the 1956 school-aged cohort and am proud to have been part of the 1973 JASHS batch, I must officially state my Date of Birth as 1955 in official documents from then on.

Having been born in 1955, my 70th birthday will occur in 2025, marking a significant milestone. The gemstone for a 70th anniversary is platinum, a precious metal noted for its durability and rarity, symbolizing the longevity and resilience of life.

In welcoming 2025, I also acknowledge a loss in our family with the passing of my brother-in-law Kuya Lito, husband of Ate Bella. In response to this grief, I channeled my emotions into writing an essay that chronicles our family's journey by revisiting past events. This essay has been published in the online magazine Positively Filipino.

For my platinum birthday, I want to share the essay that inspired this Facebook series.

***

I was one of the first close relatives and friends of Kuya Lito to deliver a eulogy. I shared a memory about a love poem that he wrote for Ate Bella and how this poem, along with their love story, influenced my high school years.

Ate Bella and Kuya Lito were Section One classmates at Pampanga High School, which was later renamed Jose Abad Santos High School, the institution I also attended. They reconnected in college in Manila as working students and fell in love. However, Ate Bella, as the second eldest of eight children, felt obligated to support her younger siblings' education, a responsibility known as dagisot in Kapampangan. Similarly, my eldest sister, Ate Nats, remained unmarried and avoided suitors due to this family duty.

Although Ate Bella and Kuya Lito were in love, they could not marry and start their own family until the financial needs of their younger siblings' education were met. Ate Bella faced a dilemma: how could she support her younger siblings' education while also building her own family and having children? She did not want to follow the path taken by Ate Nats, who became a spinster.

Ate Bella decided to follow both her mind and heart. Embracing the journey of Filipino immigrants in America, she came to the United States in 1972. Kuya Lito subsequently joined her, and they married, establishing a family with two children. Ate Belle then petitioned for our parents, who in turn petitioned for five unmarried children, including me, although I was initially hesitant to immigrate.

Kuya Lito, Ate Bella, and I belong to the Baby Boomer generation. Unlike millennials and Gen Zs who often express feelings through emojis and texting, we grew up in the ‘50s, ‘60s, and ‘70s when love songs were prevalent, and ballpoint pens were used for slum books and love notes. Writing followed rhyme and rhythm, such as “What do you think, I wrote in ink, because of you I always think” or “Remember M, Remember E, put them together, Remember ME.” English served not only as a medium of instruction in the school but was also as an introduction to literature and poetry, including works by William Wordsworth, John Keats, Lord Byron, and Elizabeth Barrett Browning. We were inspired by Browning’s “How do I love thee: Let me count the ways.”

When I highlighted Kuya Lito's romantic nature in my eulogy, I mentioned the poem he wrote for Ate Bella. I attempted to recite its lines from memory. His poem is an acrostic, where the first letter of each line spells out a word or a name vertically. Kuya Lito utilized the initial letters of the first lines in each stanza. For Bella, he used "B," with the line, "Beautiful as a Rose she seems to be," which I shared during my eulogy. I then paused and expressed amazement at Kuya Lito's use of the word "Effulgent" for the letter "E" in "BELLA." This choice of words illustrates his romantic inclination, as he meticulously searched the Webster Dictionary for sophisticated terms like "effulgent" when drafting his poem for Ate Bella.

Later that evening, as we were preparing to leave the mortuary, our relatives hurriedly approached me with new information. AJ, Kuya Lito's granddaughter, had a copy of the poem on her phone. I promptly requested that she send me a copy.

To my surprise and upon reflection, I realized I had made an error in my eulogy. Kuya Lito's word for E was "Elegant," not "Effulgent." As memories flooded my mind, I found it difficult to sleep that night. My high school days resurfaced during my light slumber.

Remarkably, I recalled that "Effulgent" for the letter E originated from a love poem I had written for Nette, a high school classmate named Neonita Pelaez. In her, I saw similarities to my sister Bella's perspective on life. She came from a humble and struggling family in a remote village of San Fernando.

In high school, like Kuya Lito I was among the top ten in our class. Somehow, I got his love poem to Ate Bella. Inspired by finding my Ate in Nette, I copied and modified his style and lines.

N stands for “Novel as a nymph you seem to be,” while E signifies Effulgent. Unfortunately, I cannot recall the exact line and stanza of my own version. In his love poem, Kuya Lito utilized the third person, whereas I employed the first person in mine. Unlike his enduring relationship with Ate Bella, who maintained their pledge of love, remained married for 52 years, and had two daughters, my connection with Nette did not extend beyond high school. After graduation, we were separated; I pursued further studies in Manila, and she remained in the province. Sadly, I do not possess a copy of the poem I composed for her, neither in my archives nor in my memory.

When I delivered my eulogy, Kuya Lito’s love poem for Ate Bella truly came to life. His granddaughter now possesses a copy of it. My initial mistake with the word "effulgent" turned out to be fortuitous. This term not only illuminates the page , but also conveys a radiant beauty or glowing aura. It beautifully encapsulates Kuya Lito's essence, his enduring legacy, and the profound love story he shared with Ate Bella.

***

It was in high school when the concept of “family line” began percolating in my consciousness.

To be continued…Abangan ang susunod na kabanata.

May 21,2025 FB