The tripartite of my life: A reflection on my birthday

By MC Canlas posted in FB 5/20/2023

I am celebrating my birthday on May 22.

Although, I consider myself as a true-blue Gemini with a double-two day of birth, it is the power of three that I follow dearly and profoundly in life.

Take my philosophy of life. It is LOST for Living Life (that is) Open, Sincere and True. For having OST as my guidance in everyday living on earth, OST always finds way for me not to be a lost soul. A lost soul is a person who seems to lack direction or a sense of belonging in life. OST makes me a soulful person.

In my popular education work I adhere to the Context-Content-Method. For my faith, I believe in God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Using the tripartite view of history, reflecting on my life journey, I am now on my third period. My periodization varies.

The most obvious is my location. Homeland (from Birth to 1984), Immigrant’s land (1984 to 2023), and binational homebase (2023 to present). This is where I am sharpening my concept and spatial framework of a sense of longing and belonging. Connected to location is my travel passport identities and citizenships (Philippines, USA, dual).

I always tell my friends and in my writings that I am originally a reluctant immigrant. I am a Makabayan Tibak (MT) with steadfast commitment to “Pag-ibig sa Tinubuang Lupa,” and during my youthful age, it was even instilled in my mind and in my heart “ang mamatay ng dahil sa iyo,” and “Filipinos are worth dying for.”

Why did I move and live in America in the midst 1980s, when the Philippine political crisis is looming, and social revolution is knocking at the door in the national capital region? Why go to America, the home of Uncle Sam that has ravaged our Inang Bayan and beguiled our anak-bayan?

Immigration is a double-edged sword for most families: To better the life of a family, family members are separated. The dream of my parents and my siblings is family reunification. I know I am a good son and a loyal brother to my siblings, and who am I to subvert this dream when my visa for unmarried children was offered?

The consolation and resolution of my immigration dilemma also came from my elder sister. “Basta makapunta ka rito, at may green card ka na, tapos na ang obligasyon ko sa pamilya, nasa iyo if you stay or not in America.” In other words, my green card fulfills our family’s dream, but it is also a green light where I would want to go, live, and spend my community activism and passions.

But having a green card brought more questions than answers to my predicament. A few weeks after my newly arrived siblings saw the beauty and wealth of America, they were expected to find jobs and work. And they did. How about me? I was still a reluctant immigrant. In my mind, if I find a job and work, it means I would stay, and if I stay, it means I would not be in the forefront in the social movement in the homeland.

What compounded my dilemma is the freeway culture of Los Angeles, California. I am not only a reluctant immigrant, but there is reluctance in me to drive a car. My logic is simple: If I drive, I need money to pay for the gas, insurance, parking, and car related expenses, therefore I need to earn and find a job. If I find a job and work, it means I would stay, and if I stay, it means I would not be in the forefront in the social movement in the homeland.

I do not drive. And when people ask me why I do not drive, my casual answer is “it is my religion.” People are "religious" about all sorts of things - science, energy, success, food, fashion, wealth, themselves. Hearing that from me, perhaps, it may imply my attitude to public transportation, capitalism, climate change, consumerism etc.

However, this “religion” of mine of not driving a car led me to appreciate and live in San Francisco.

My life in San Francisco is another story.

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